Saturday, January 30, 2021

Transformation

 

Every caterpillar can become a butterfly. All he has to do is surrender his caterpillarness in the sleeping soup of the chrysalis and metamorphosis is guaranteed.

Every human being carries the seed of transformation in his very being. All he has to do is be willing to surrender, to sacrifice his persona and embrace the divine Self within.

This power of metamorphosis is discovered by very few. Perhaps the small child, the guru, the saint, the master  of yoga or tai chi,  the mystic or the singer or the artist, the devotee drunk with love…..a few have tasted this power and its glory.

It can only be known when the mind-noise ceases and the heart-lotus blossoms in the radiant light of selfless silence.

Turning inwards in deep introspection, one enters the cocoon of stillness and surrender. Then something mysterious happens: an inner fire awakens, metamorphosis begins.This process is called tapasya -  like smoke from a fire, various symptoms emerge.

At the outer level, one expands into infinite space; one sees through obstacles and beyond horizons, hears the sound of the earth breathing and the grass growing, smells the faintest fragrance of distant forest flowers carried on a fragile breeze.

In the inner dimension of conscious awareness, mysteries unfurl…..the haunting music of divine instruments blends with angelic voices singing in perfect harmony.  Visions of exquisite beauty  unfold before the inner eye. Maddeningly delicious scents and flavours overwhelm the  structure of smell and taste, while one’s very bones melt beneath the over-arching pleasure of the Beloved’s caress.

These are all just brief side-effects of the end of the persona, the dream in the chrysalis

From the eventual dissolution of this chrysalis,  an extremely subtle, transcendent state of being emerges, as delicate and as wondrous as a butterfly.

This cannot be achieved by effort or will or strength…when one ripens in devotion and unconditional surrender, a current of divine love bubbles up in the Heart-center.

This love is the fabled fountain of life, the healing gift of immortality.

Once you taste such love, nothing else can ever distract you.

Holding firmly to your true nature, you stay forever rooted in a deep and perfect peace.

“ The eternal, unbroken, natural state of abiding in the Self is jnana. To abide in the Self you must love the Self. Since God is  verily the Self, love of the Self is love of God; and that is bhakti. Jnana and Bhakti are thus one and the same.” Bhagavan Ramana Maharishi, Maharishi’s Gospel.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

An Empty Chair

 

“Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today -  I wish, I wish he’d go away!”
 from the poem Antigonish by Hughes Mearns

Now there’s a poem that is very Dr.Seuss and very Zen. 

Zen is the child of Taoism and Buddhism that came from China and flowered in the particularly paradoxical culture of  ancient Japan.Apart from the practice of zazen or sitting meditation,  Zen Buddhism uses unsolvable riddles called koans to get the mind to make a quantum leap beyond itself.

If you wish to discover how nothing is the seed of everything and how perfect emptiness is profound fullness, you must listen without ears to the sound of one hand clapping.

True wisdom is fraught with paradox that is impossible to grasp with logic or reason or any intellectual concepts : it can only be experienced by the complete disappearance of the experiencer!

Advaita Vedanta is not so different from Zen ; both schools stress the need for experiential knowledge and not just book knowledge, for direct transmission from an enlightened master and for deep introspection into one’s true, original nature. Further, both require the total annihilation of  the ego-mind complex that dominates most human beings.

I sit peacefully on my favourite old rocking chair on my verandah, enjoying the slanting sun of the late afernoon.

My practice has gone up and down and all around for more than forty five years now – yet, I am still but a novice, a beginner, a devotee praying for grace.

Ah, but I count my blessings: again and again and again!

I am not worried or afraid…I know one day, when the time is ripe, I will get there.

And, at last,  the rays of the setting sun will caress an empty chair. 


"Liberated from the grip of egoism, like the moon after the eclipse, full, ever blissful, self-luminous, one attains one’s essence." Adhyatma Upanishad

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Master Firehand - a Story

 ( This is fiction..all characters mentioned do not refer to any actual individuals and are purely imaginary.)


The old man was a familiar figure , easily recognised by all the regular pradakshina goers…he had lived in the same spot near the Yama Lingam temple for many years now. This temple is one of the eight lingams on the path around Arunachala, the sacred hill in Tiruvannamalai, Tamilnadu. Worshipped as Lord Shiva for thousands of years, and made world-famous by the presence of the great sage Ramana Maharishi, devotees believe that the practice of pradakshina, walking clockwise around the holy hill, purifies one’s mind and hastens the achievement of moksha.

Between the Yama Lingam and the cemetery, against the wall of an old tomb, he had built himself a makeshift shelter of coconut thatch and corrugated cement.

Master Firehand, as he was called by the locals in their Tamil slang, was a slender old man with a long silver beard and scraggly silver hair around his bald pate. Unlike the other sadhus on the Girivallam Road, he did not wear the orange robes of a sanyasi…just a spotless white dhoti, and a frayed, but clean, sleeveless banian. Every morning at around 11 a.m., after he had his ritual bath  in the temple tank, he would appear, along with the other sadhus and beggars/pilgrims, at the  entrance to Ramanashramam for the free lunch they served.

He was a good-looking man, maybe seventy five years old, who carried himself with simple dignity,  with fine chiselled features and large, lustrous  eyes that sparkled with a serene wisdom behind the thick glasses he wore.

This is how I first made his acquaintance – on one of my early visits to Ramanashram some 8 years ago, I had volunteered to help serve the simple but nutritious ashram lunch to the sadhus. When I served Master Firehand in his aluminium plate with a good helping of rice and sambar and vegetables, he said, in perfect English, 

“ Thank you, kind sir.”

The ashram staff seemed to know him well and treated him with regard. I wondered who he was and what was his story. I asked the ashram manager why he was called Master Firehand; he laughed and said it was because this old man was famous for conducting funeral rites and cremations for any sadhus/beggars who had no one to perform their last rites. He spent his own money for the firewood and ghee and flowers and incense and paid for the priest to chant the appropriate slokas and lit the funeral pyres himself.


Later that afternoon I found him seated under the huge old banyan tree  that, with its many small shrines of stone serpents and Gods, was a familiar landmark next to the ashram tank. Close by was my favorite tea-shop , where a truly delightful cup of typical Tamilnadu tea, strong and sweet, may be had for the princely sum of Rs.8/-!

 I greeted the tea-shop owner and asked for two glasses of tea….he swished his mug high in the air, poured tea  and placed the two  small glasses before me with his usual flourish.

I approached Master Firehand hesitantly and asked, “ Sir, will you do me the honour of joining me for a cup of tea?” 

He looked at me deeply with his piercing eyes, smiled and said

 “ With pleasure.”

Thus began our acquaintance and, over the years,  little by little, I learnt his story.

Born into  a middle-class Tamilian Brahmin family, Master Firehand grew up in Chennai and studied in Guindy Engineering college. After completing his Masters degree in Metallurgy in Pittsburgh University, he started a steel company in Africa that was the beginning of a string of extremely successful business ventures. By the age of 45, he was a millionaire many times over, living a life of luxury , with business interests thriving all over the world. He had a townhouse in Manhattan, a luxury mansion in London’s swanky West End and holiday homes in the Hamptons, the Bahamas and the South of France.Through his many companies, he owned 3 yachts and 2 Lear Jets and a fleet of expensive cars. At the peak of his business career, his wealth exceeded 10 billion US$. He had a loving and beautiful wife, two wonderful children and the whole world was his oyster.

Which was when his seemingly perfect life fell apart.

The cruel blow of fate happened when he was 55 years old.His wife and children, who were visiting family in India, decided to meet him in their home in the Bahamas for a long-overdue family vacation. The Lear jet carrying them to the Bahamas  was caught in a sudden cyclonic storm over the Pacific Ocean….and disappeared! 

In spite of all efforts, no trace of the plane was ever found. In one sweeping blow, fate had robbed him of those he loved the most in all the world.

Totally shattered by such a terrible bereavement, the billionaire retreated into a shell of deep despair. Five years drifted by in a hellish depression…his managers kept his businesses going, but the best doctors and psychologists that money  could buy could not heal his pain. Lost in a deep and terrible “dark night of the soul” he seriously contemplated ending his own life.

At this point, he received more bad news – his widowed mother, who was 78 years old, had been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer of the pancreas. He rushed to Chennai to be with her…and taking care of her became the reason for him to live.

He liquidated all  his businesses and put all the money into a trust fund. 

Despite the very best medical care that money could buy, the doctors told him that his mother had, at most, another 2 or 3 years to live. He wanted to take her to Switzerland where she could receive the very best medical care for her remaining lifetime…but she begged him to let her stay in India and asked him to fulfill her life’s ambition of living in Tiruvannamalai.

His parents had always been devotees of Ramana Maharishi and Arunachaleshwara…but he had never been very interested in that path; after his father passed away while he was studying in the USA, he soon got too busy with his life to ever visit the temple town.

Now finally, at the age of 60, he bought a house in Tirruvanamalai and moved there with his ailing mother.One wing of the house was set up as a mini-hospital and he had doctors and nurses attending to his mother 24/7. She, however, was happiest when he took her at frequent intervals to visit the ancient temples around Arunachala and the Ramanashramam.

And then, something happened….in the shadow of the sacred mountain, for the first time in many years, he began to feel a semblance of peace.

“ Arunachala saved me, by Bhagavan Ramana’s grace”, he told me , quite simply and matter-of-fact. “ My mother passed away 2 years after we moved here. I performed her last rites and have lived here ever since, for the last 14 years.” 

“ Today, I have no property and no posessions. I live very simply and have very few personal needs. I eat one meal a day and have only 3 sets of clothes. I gave away all my fortune to charities…except for a small fund that I kept to take care of my remaining years. The dividends from that fund come to Ramanashramam…and, whatever small needs I have, the Ashram trustees gladly meet.”

“ Like bearing the expenses for the funerals ?” I asked, smiling.

“ Yes, indeed!” he laughed. “Now finally I understand what Bhagavan Ramana meant when he said – the emperor himself is not so happy as the man who has no wants.”

“So, dear Master Firehand, who will perform your last rites, when that time comes?” I asked. 

“Some kind soul like you,” he replied , with a smile on his face and a deep, indescribable peace in his eyes.



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Monday, January 11, 2021

I am

 

I am subtler than the subtlest, wiser than the serpent, yet as innocent as the lamb;

concepts cannot contain me nor words describe me: I just am.

I am dawn and dusk, beginning and end, death and rebirth.

I am thunder and rain and lightning, time and tide and season, I am the molten fire at the very core of the earth.

I am the dew on the leaf and the wind whispering in the trees, the sweetness of honey, the scent of jasmine wafting faint on the evening breeze.

I am the love in mother’s milk, the strength in tempered steel, the haunting chant that echoes in a still and silent mind.

I am the pulsing life-force, the breath within the breath, the cool, bright flame of the  innermost divine.

Invisible but ever-present, I am the framework of reality, the living essence of all things.

I am triumph and  celebration, wonder and joy, the overflowing bliss that real love brings.

Woven in all creation, my rythm will never falter, my song, never end, my dance, never cease.

My bones are mountains, my sinews, rivers, my body is this cosmos, my heart  is a vast ocean of  deep and perfect peace.

Universes may perish, heavens and hells may come and go - but  I don’t give a damn!

Unattached, unblemished, unperturbed,

I am that I am.