Myself and I

Sometimes, I love myself. Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes, I am proud of myself. Sometimes, I am ashamed of myself. Sometimes, I want to find myself. Sometimes , I want to escape from myself.

Who is the real "I"?

If there is an "I" ..and a separate "myself", which is real? Or are both unreal?

Inside me there are a thousand voices, each claiming priority, each clamouring for attention.

The one who observes and lovingly honours them all, without judgement, ...who is he?
When all divisions disappear, perhaps I will know who I really am.

In the silence of the Center, all becomes One.

Unlearning

I thought learning was difficult. All those years of studies..reading...learning.
Now I find what is really difficult is un-learning.
Getting rid of all the concepts, all the clever dialogues, discussions, interpretations. Cleaning the many layers of mud from the original spotless mirror.
Why is that difficult? If I have covered myself with an armour built of multiple layers of filth..why can't I just clean it off?
Only because I have allowed it to become my identity...the shell that I fondly cling to...removing it would leave me naked and vulnerable...exposed like a newborn babe..
How strange !
People would rather cling to their armour of mud...even if they are aware that it is the source of all their misery...than be naked...and clear.....and free!

Beyond all the words

Words are empty and meaningless.
At best, they can serve as signposts, triggers or catalysts.

At worst, they cloud the mind.

Doctrines are vast collections of words. Scholars learn all the fat books by heart and think they have achieved learning...all they have done is covered their original clear mirror mind with garbage.
The monkey mind needs words. Observe his antics carefully..see the worlds he spins out from words..heavens and hells and other fantasies.

Truth lies in the silence beyond the words, in the indescribable reality of inner experience.
Why do I write these words , then?

I dont...they write themselves. They are just like my fingers ,pointing at the breathtakingly beautiful full moon radiant in the night-sky.
Look at the moon...not at the fingers.

Solitude

We come into this world alone. We leave alone...no one can come with us on that final journey.
Our spirits live in solitude. Even in the midst of crowds, inside we are alone...each cocooned in his or her own universe. Yet, we crave companionship, love,affection, to be liked and appreciated. Why is this?
Because we have let ourselves be trapped in the delusion of being separate.
But somewhere, deep, deep inside us, lies this memory of being one with all there is.
And we cannot but crave to return to that knowing.
Learn the secret of being alone without being lonely.
Solitude bears rich gifts...nourishment for the soul.
How can I be alone..when my breath links me with the furthest galaxies? How can I be alone when I know and experience that I am trees and birds and planets and seas and mountains and people and bees?
Solitude is my true home...where I can return to who I really am.
Solitude is my rest and my refuge, where my soul can recharge itself with the infinite energy of the Universe.
In the embrace of my solitude, I find peace and joy and love that is infinite and eternal.
And, in this finding, I discover my true connection, at the deepest level, with all living beings.

Ripeness

The fruit, when ripe, falls of its own accord.
There is no shortcut to ripeness. It happens in its own time.

Another word for ripeness is maturity. How is this defined?
I am mature when I take full and complete responsibility for my own life.When I finally stop passing the buck. And realise that I cannot blame anyone or anything at all for my state of being and my life situation.
People love to blame other persons or forces for their own misfortunes and shortcomings.They blame luck, the planets, past lives,friends, parents, spouses, children, bosses, colleagues, the government,karma, God.
Mature people can't do this anymore.
They are totally aware and certain that they alone control their inner state...which in turn controls everything that happens in their lives.
They know that the universe reflects what is within themselves...and this manifests as all the situations and circumstances of their lives.
So they learn to focus on tuning themselves, getting their own inner house in order, rather than worrying about anyone else or wasting energy on trying to change other people or places or circumstances. They know beyond all shadow of doubt that the subtle inside is the source of all the outside.
Therefore, they understand that ripeness is everything.

The Big Lie

They lied to us. Parents, teachers, society...all the blind unconscious forces that shaped our thought-cages.
They taught us to pretend. To be what others expected us to be. To chase pipe-dreams: money, power,fame, security, success.
And waste the precious days, hours, minutes of our lives.
Brick by brick, they walled us in.
Layer by layer, they added coats of mind-concrete that hardened with the years.
No one taught us how to be. No one showed us the real treasure and magic within ourselves. No one told us that the pursuit of external mirages would only leave us dessicated and thirsting in a burning desert. No one taught us the incredible difference between book-learning and experiential knowing.

We can't blame them..they did not know any better. As Jesus said when they nailed him to the cross, " Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."
All we can do is follow our own inner vision...make our own mistakes, bear our own burdens, suffer our own crucifixions..until, driven by despair or desperation or a faint memory, we shatter the cages, break all the walls and let our spirits fly free in the boundless sky.
This is resurrection. This is rebirth. This is the metamorphosis, the transformation of caterpillar into butterfly.
Until we do this, we waste our precious lives.
Seize the day!
Dont wait any longer: BE now, for tomorrow you may not get another chance.
Return to innocence and totality, to who you truly are.
Enough is enough. Do it NOW!

Blundering Through

I made many mistakes in my life. I was often unconscious and unaware.This is the greatest and only sin, the root of all mistakes.
Even a dog learns faster; despite so many slaps in the face, my learning took a long time. Somehow, by the gift of grace, I blundered through into the Light.
So now, none of it matters.
I see with new eyes and a heart filled with gratitude.
I see that I never truly lost my real nature, the truth I was born with.
I see that the Universe took care of me like a benevolent and tolerant mother, no matter what I did.
I see that life is beautiful and sacred.
I feel the power of its mystery pulsing in my belly and my heart.And in the clouds , the trees, the light, the wind.
My spirit sings in harmony: its so easy now.
All i have to do is tune in. And celebrate. And laugh. And live fully and totally in each magical moment of my life.

Drop the burden

Enlightenment is getting lighter...dropping the burden. Realising that there is no one to be enlightened.
Letting go of the huge sack full of garbage..book learning, concepts,past memories , future dreams... that one carries all the time.
Returning to one's original nature,free of time, free of memories or fantasies. Free even of the desire to be enlightened.
No wonder, in Zen, they say " Can you see your original face before you were born?"
"The children talking to the rain know that they will be heard. Because they have not yet been changed into their names." from a song i wrote years ago.

"Just as apes spend their time throwing things away and picking them up again unceasingly, so it is with you and your learning. All you need is to give up your "learning," your "ignorant" and "Enlightened," pure and impure, great and little, your "attachment" and "activity." Such things are mere conveniences, mere ornaments within the One Mind. I hear you have studied the sutras of the twelve divisions of the Three Vehicles. They are all mere empirical concepts. Really you must give them up! " Zen Master Huang Po, Courtesy, www.dailyzen.com

Conceptual thought is the greatest barrier to finding your true nature.
Direct experience of being, without distortion by thought, is the key.
Return to innocence..to that state before ego.
The state of being is what matters: the doing follows perfectly.
Then all will be well

Simplicity

Being simple is very difficult. The ego-mind delights in complexity. Being simple demands total courage, total trust, the ability to leap without hesitation into the abyss.
Nature, at core, is simple. The truth is simple. Tao is simple.
Direct perception, without going through the filter of the mind and its pre-conceived notions, is only possible when you are simple.
Thus, the eyes of simplicity see the incredible, magical perfection of all that exists.
Once you have experienced this perception, no other eyes will ever satisfy you.

The Center

"Returning to the Source is stillness, which is the way of Nature. Stillness and tranquility set things in order in the Universe."
These words are from the Tao Te Ching, one of the greatest books ever written.
When I turn my attention inwards, I find a core of stillness. This is the Source, the Center.If I stay in this stillness, I feel very good...joyous, tranquil, alert and aware.
If I look out upon the world from this place, I see and feel the magic everywhere. This is the Heart that Ramana Maharishi speaks of, the origin and the core of all creation.
Once I find this, I find everything; all i need to do is keep returning to it.
Life throws me off-center often...but all I need to do is take a few moments and return to the Center.Its just a simple matter of practice...like learning how to swim or ride a bike or play the guitar. At first it seems so difficult, well-nigh impossible. A little practice...and, hey presto! it just flows with effortless ease.
Every human being has this treasure within.
This is the greatest healing, where all is forgiven, all pain dissolves, all confusion vanishes.
Here, all questions, doubts , fears disappear.
Here there is no negativity, no duality, no desire, no suffering, no death.
Here there is only infinite bliss and deep eternal peace.
Perhaps this is why all the great souls...saints, mystics, sages... of all cultures and all religions, have endlessly exhorted their fellow humans to find this treasure that is within .
There can be no greater blessing than this.
Seek this center..find it and stay in it as often as you can.
Nothing else is needed.

Formless Communication

Funny how those I want to reach the most are locked behind their own walls. As I am imprisoned in mine. We entrap ourselves thus in the artificial prison of personality.
And no words can penetrate that double delusion. Only silent vibration from the core of being has a chance of getting through.
As long as I am my body-mind complex, I am trapped in the battle of the opposites.
Desire and revulsion, love and hate, joy and sadness, up and down…. the usual ride on the carousel of duality. Embodied, I go through all the drama…the pain.
When I have had enough, I turn within.
So I choose to dive deep into myself, down to the bottom of the ocean inside…where the secret fire burns. And there, like water becoming steam, I become formless…rise like vapour up the tunnel of the spine and into the void.
Without form, duality ends.
When duality ends, the ego-mind-body shell collapses.
What is revealed then cannot be spoken of…closest description I can give is that it is infinite, blissful tranquility.
From this indescribable state, all that radiates is love.